earthquake

dear G

this will have to be short - its 2Am and I need to get sleep...

2 things - drinking is not a method for lifting oneself out of a hole, in fact it serves only to keep you in the hole as you have to recover the next day. Also, it would appear that some aggressive characteristics came out in me when i was inebriated and I fear that this is a reflection of some frustration on my part. So - fighting your way from a hole also does not work.

A negative, agreed - so, now a positive; working on my computer tonight for this project of perhaps dubious content (robbie williams and dizzee rascal back to back with the BBC orchestra and smoky robinson) - i have found a renewed excitement for creating. I like what I have created and it excites me to see the final product. I am lifted from the hole and can see lights and movement. I am excited by the future prospect of my new studio, the rearrangement of my working space and the ambition to create all the things that are in my mind.

To conclude - i think sometimes I need to be overly destructive in order to begin being constructive again. I cannot start from a standstill - I need to be catapulted. Or maybe I need an earthquake to properly build a new castle.

I can't remember who said it (... I think it was William Morris), but he said " rubble often makes the best building material).

can't wait to see you in your nest. xx