acclivity

Dear G

I lay in my concrete hole this morning and listened to Womens Hour. Shirley Williams MP was being interviewed and talked about 'climbing the books' - an account of how her mother and father encouraged her to reach her grandest ambitions in life by being treated equal to them and her brother. She was encouraged to read voraciously and expand her mind. She said that a girl's father generally provides the ceiling for how far a woman can climb in life and how much to reach for. The mother provides stability.

Considering how far Dame Shirley had reached I thought that her father must have been a very strong minded man and that before I become a father I should ensure never to creep into a concrete hole and instead build something out of my concrete. A hole is only a pit with which to build a foundation.

She also spoke of one of early parliamentary duties - to vet pornography in order to deem what was suitable for consumption. In the 70's, english pornography was state sanctioned which I found hard to believe given the sexual revolution that England had just experienced. She described her weekends; bringing home a stack of porn and 'reading' it. At first she found it intriguing but after a short while states that she felt sorry for men that consumed it - she said that using pornography was a sign of failure - failure to know what a real relationship between man and woman was and failure to grasp reality.

After hearing this I considered whether or not I was a failure. I admit that I felt that I was, though also felt that because I am aware of it and able to judge myself then I have the ability to not be so. I, as all people do themselves, have the capacity to regulate my thoughts and actions. Being in control of these actions provides me with the tools to build up and away from a concrete hole. And more than that - for I feel that relegating myself to a hole is not entirely fair - it provides the means with which to have belief in yourself.

I then rose from my hole, though admittedly only after a knock at the door which made me feel guilty for lying in bed, and made a cup of tea. I am now preparing myself for a day of sorting, organising and clearing the ground for my ascension in life.

J